Past, present, Future?

Why am I here?
Why do I do what I do?
Why do I help those who I destroyed?
Why do I hold on to what's gone?
Why do I let go what's here to stay?
Why do I run away?
Why do I hide in innocence?
Why do I admit in guilt?
Why do I regret every moment?
Why do I doubt?
Why do I do what no one would do?
Why do I reject position and power?
Why can't I express?
Why can't I fit in?
Why can't I leave my past?
Why can't I believe?
Why can't I hope?
Why can't I be what I am?


WHY?

Is it that It's not the real me,
Or that I am a 'disposable'?
Is my past, my present, and my future tied by one thread?
Is this.... Me?

Am I dreaming?
Am I hallucinating?


Or am I.....


Non-existent?

Am I Living?



Then Why don't I feel, Alive?